Happy Friday Purgators!
This past week in our Midweek Hustle we discussed the pros of using OkCupid, more specifically we talked about our appreciation of their extensive questionnaire. In this specific encounter though, my beloved questionnaire betrayed me. Pat* seemed great on paper, we had so much in common and could talk for hours — it felt like I had known him my whole life. Normally I have a three day rule where I go out with a guy within three days of talking to them, unfortunately the week that I started talking to Pat I got severe tonsillitis. We talked for almost a week before meeting up.
He picked me up for the date in his super old, 1970’s vehicle (not the classic kind either). I thought he was being chivalrous by standing outside the car to open the door for me, however I found out shortly after it was because his doors didn’t properly work. We went out for dinner to a nice Italian restaurant. Even though I was on antibiotics I figured one glass of wine wouldn’t hurt and if I did have a not so pleasant reaction, at least I wasn’t driving.
Disclaimer: no judgment to people who do not drink, I think it is admirable and there is nothing wrong with it. However, not drinking is not a part of my lifestyle and I quite enjoy having drinks on a social level. Needless to say, Pat didn’t drink…at all, nor had he ever had a sip of alcohol at the tender age of 31.
As the night progressed, Pat’s lack of drinking was the least of my concern. He talked “long-term” and was inviting me to things months down the line. Not only that, but he went into great detail about his concerns about talking to my dad (who plays in the same curling league as him) about our date. After getting a frightful call from The Blonde (read here about it) and feeling exhausted from having tonsillitis I decided to call it a night.
Now what I’m about to say next is something I’m not proud of but I ghosted Pat after that night, ugh! He text me the next day and I text him back a few hours later, he did what any guy would do and responded immediately about how great of a time he had the night before and that we should do it again. I didn’t have the heart nor, the energy (blame it on the tonsillitis) to tell him I wasn’t interested. He was a great guy, just not the guy for me.
Takeaway Message: The message is two-fold. First, it doesn’t pay to talk to someone for that long without meeting up in some capacity. Too much initial conversation only leads to heightened expectations (we all sound better behind a screen). Second, I realized ghosting is NOT for me. I still feel guilty about it to this day and he didn’t deserve to not have an explanation, especially after all the time and effort he put into our date.