Happy Monday Purgators!
We met Tinderella through twitter and fell in LOVE! She is so funny and has some of the best stories on the internet (no we are not just saying that!) We are so lucky to have her write one of her most memorable first date stories, and let me tell you…this is a juicy one! You can find Tinderella at the links below, be sure to check out her blog!
Mr New York: A Date to Remember
I would like to think of myself as an online dating veteran in that I’ve been in this game for a good few years now. I’m lucky (or maybe unlucky depending on how you see it) to have been a part of the dating apps mass explosion.
However, there was a time many moons ago and of course prior to any swiperation (yes, I did just make up that word) when yours truly was a naive little thing in the dating world. In fact, Tinderella in the making was barely even a dot. With that in mind, I would like to share with you one of my very first online dating experiences and possibly one of my most memorable dates. You should know that when I first began this ahem “colourful” journey of online dating, oddly enough I dived into the other end of the spectrum…a matrimonial site! Yes, your girl went in hardcore!! Sadly, the excitement wore off relatively soon when it became apparent that I was either going to die alone or risk getting matched with heavily moustachioed, creepy men…And hey, I’m not talking in a sexy, Tom Selleck Dilf kinda way.
Luckily, that all changed when I clocked this downright hottie on the dating site. Virtually, he ticked every single one of my then boxes. Thank God I don’t believe in “boxes” now, (just those serving Krispy Kremes) and my taste/ “requirements” have most definitely evolved as well as my mindset. The only potential downside was him living across that big ol’ puddle – the Atlantic Ocean, in a small city called New York. But hey, love (ok calm down…lets change that to curiosity) travels oceans right?
We started out by exchanging your standard hellos in the initial stages but very soon progressed to long emails back and forth. Yes, back in the day when you would actually write and take your time to send nice emails (how romantic). A time before Tinder #bants if you will. Eventually it turned to phone calls and Skype chats. I’d had an unhealthy relationship with watching re-runs of MTV’s Catfish and all though the thought of having Nev Schulman and let’s be honest the star of the show, Max, spend a week or so filming me, I just did not want to be one of those people. I knew at some point or the other Mr New York and I would meet. I mean here was someone who completely matched my compatibility status and tbh everything I was apparently looking for.
Looking back at that time it’s evidently clear that I had naively (and very foolishly) created some sort of relationship in my head. BUT hey, I mean since we met on a matrimonial website how could he not want to put a ring on it (hashtag mega lols). Of course now, I would most definitely want to slap that girl and tell her to fix the fuck up. But I’m not going to deny that the guy seemed as interested in me.
5 months of regular emailing, Skype chats, whatsapping etc continued at a nice, chilled pace. It really was just lovely getting to know Mr New York and to learn that we actually had quite a lot in common.
The day finally came when I excitedly dropped in that I would be coming to the US of A for 3 weeks, which would include a stopover in New York for two days. It was arranged we’d meet on the first day, which just so happened to also be my birthday too. You’ll be proud to know that I wasn’t that much of a loser and in some ways still had “game” as I arranged another last-minute date with another New Yorker (again from the same website). When in Rome and all that jazz! But that’s another story….
You may question why I went all the way to New York and the simple answer is that I wanted an adventure and thought fuck it, going on the other side of the world for a date is pretty out there right. Besides, being in New York on my own for my birthday was perhaps one of the most liberating things I’ve ever done. A little lady in a BIG city just wondering around 5th Avenue because she simply could…Amazing!!!
We arranged to meet in the evening and it was agreed that he would pick me up from my hotel foyer (How very #JuliaRobertsPrettyWoman of him). Even now I can remember having ridiculous butterflies in my stomach as I went down the lift (sorry elevator). All those months of getting to know each other finally coming down to this one moment.
Seeing him for the first time was such a relief and yay he looked exactly how he did online (no need for Nev). No lazy eye or weird twitch. It was him alright. We leaned in for that all too familiar awkward hug that becomes apparent on first dates but after that, continued at ease. He’d planned for us to go to this really cool Sushi Bar in the heart of Manhattan (don’t ask me the name of it as I just can’t remember). Not much to add here apart from the fact that I was in my element, having such an awesome date with a really awesome guy. He couldn’t stop complimenting me and my London accent appeared to be some sort of kryptonite (obviously I played up to my Englishness by heavily emphasising each of my words as if I were BFFs with Kate Middleton).
Sushi bar DONE, followed by us ending up at this stunning roof top bar, with the most amazing view of the Empire State Building. To date, that has probably been one of my most romantic locations for a first date. The conversation, the ambience, the exciting flirtation only expressed on a first date, him, me and everything was just perfect in that moment. He leaned in for a kiss and it was electric. I’m very sceptical of fairy tales but this was a fairy tale date. As the date came to an end, we again kissed outside my hotel and yes (being the cheeseball that I am) I did the whole lift my right knee up as we smooched. Just like I’d seen in the movies. It was epic!
*these randoms could very well have been Mr New York and I #justsaying
I went to bed that night with a huge smile on my face, excited to know that this was potentially the beginning of something amazing. A day or so later, I was heading to Miami to meet my bestie. I excitedly told her about Mr New York and she was just as excited as me. She also encouraged me to tell him how I felt. I mean fuck it, I’d come all this way and so hey, might as well rip that plaster and find out whether the feeling was indeed mutual.
The response I received from him was not exactly what I was expecting. He told me I was short and that bothered him. He also kindly told me that as soon as he knew I was coming to NYC, he instantly knew it was only ever going to be as friends. Kinda funny that eh, seeing as there was definitely no friend-zone sign prior to us meeting and erm talk about mixed signals with him sticking his tongue down my throat! Oh and I did mention that we met on a matrimonial site right?!
Heartbroken? Hell no! More pissed off and deflated that I had invested time into something which all along was potentially not even there. I tell you what though; I learnt so much from the experience. I’ve tweeted in the past about a concept I’ve coined as to #DateAndDevelop. This definitely holds true as you always learn something about yourself, whatever the outcome with dating and dates in general. It taught me that you really can’t put all your eggs in one basket. Focussing on just that one guy whilst missing out on all those potentials around you…Not cool bro!
Multi- dating and keeping your options open is the way forward. Well until you find that person who although might not tick all your apparent boxes but at least proves to be worthy of your precious time. I mean you could be eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts and watching re-runs of Catfish…