The Butterfly Effect

The Butterfly Effect

Happy Friday Purgators!

Hope everyone is enjoying the first few days in June. It has been a miserable week weather wise, but this weekend is shaping up to be a great one!

I have been wanting to write this post for about a month now but either keep putting it off or deciding I have more funny/interesting stories I want to share. Now, here we are, I don’t feel like talking about another bad date as they seem to keep rolling in (I am beginning to think I have bad taste in men). I wanted to write about a topic that I’ve heard mentioned a lot either on Twitter or in real life, I’m talking about “butterflies.”

The Blonde and I have talked about the butterfly effect many times, she knows my story and today I want to share that story with you. When I was in high school I had two long term boyfriends, one from the age of 14-16 (I know…ugh) and the other one from 17-22. I knew my second boyfriend all though high school, he was a sweet guy but most girls automatically friend zoned him (including myself). Joe and I started to hang out more when he moved to another nearby school and he made the elite hockey team (talk about a puck bunny). I originally started hanging out with him because I wanted to date a guy on his hockey team,  Joe sat patiently on the sidelines. I knew he liked me, he had told my friends he did, but I was not interested. Joe was safe, he was the token “nice guy,” he meant well but someone I viewed only as a friend.

It was around Halloween, Joe had a new girlfriend and needless to say I was not pleased, you see I’m a want what I can’t have kind of girl, I like a challenge and I felt like I had put my stake in Joe but was just bidding my time.

After months of Joe pursuing me and me turning him down, I finally said yes when he asked me to come over and watch A Shark’s Tale ( I know, so romantic). After watching the movie for a while, we kissed and it was great, nothing earth shattering and certainly no butterflies but still enjoyable. I decided that night to give Joe a shot, even though there were no butterflies at the time I wanted to give him a chance. As our relationship grew it turned into one of the most amazing things I’ve ever experienced. As time progressed I had butterflies every time we kissed, not one kiss went by when I didn’t get that fleeting feeling in my stomach that would only go away for a moment when our lips were apart and back again when our lips touched again. It is something I will never forget.

Now if I had written Joe off in the beginning because he did not give me butterflies I would never have had such an amazing relationship with a truly amazing man.

I believe in something called the “slow burn.” You may be wondering what that is, well my friends, it’s exactly what I described. It’s not always fireworks and butterflies the moment you touch and that’s okay. Looking for this fluttering feeling right off the bat is silly and will lead you to constant heartbreak. Someone who gives you those immediate WA-BAM feelings tend to fizzle as they are so intense right off the bat that there is nowhere for them to go but down. If you get to know someone over time, those feelings and butterflies come naturally because you realize you don’t want to be anywhere else with anyone else at that moment.

I hope next time someone checks all the boxes except the “Je ne sais quoi”, that you will give them a chance to make butterflies happen.


-The Brunette


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