Happy Friday Purgators!
The conversations surrounding second chances started for us a couple weeks ago while on a lovely Sunday walk.
The Brunette was telling me how she was talking with a guy who had previously ghosted her. I am notorious for giving The Brunette a hard time about handing out so many second chances and this time, like so many others I asked her why she kept giving this guy another chance. The funny thing was, instead of answering my question she pointed out something to me that I had never really thought about in the past…I do the same thing.
She named off several guys who I gave second chances to (and forgot a couple as well but I wasn’t willing to admit it) which made me reflect on the whole second chances thing.
As we continued our walk we talked about how it’s hard to see each other give people second chances when really they should be dumped to the curb, yet we so easily give them out ourselves.
We left this topic to marinate a little and came back to it last weekend (after a few vodka soda’s), it was at this time we came to a clearer understanding of things.
It’s never easy watching your friend go back to someone who you think is wasting their time and it’s easy to quickly jump to conclusion and give our opinion when we don’t really have an emotional attachment to the situation. If you’re a third party looking in, often you’re seeing things from a clearer, less invested point of view but sometimes we need to accept that our friends have to make decisions for themselves and even though you know it may end in hurt and heartbreak, that’s something they have to navigate for themselves.
The great thing about having a bestie is being able to share your uncensored opinion, but sometimes we just need to share our piece and then shut our mouths. Tell your friend what you see, share your advice and then let them know that no matter what you are there for them and support them in whatever decision they make.
The Brunette and I have definitely gotten better at doing this and it’s never easy to have that type of conversation with so many emotions involved but at the end of the day we both know we have one another’s backs and best interest at heart.
As for the one giving second chances, when we both look back at why we go back to some of these people it’s more often than not for one thing – closure. Sometimes you just need reassurance that what was left behind is meant to be left in the past.