We are back with a guest post by a fellow Canadian, Rachel Esco. Rachel reached out to us with a few different topics and we loved what she had to share, plus she is super cute and who doesn’t love a cute, smart and nice Canadian;). So without further ado – here is Rachel’s post!
We all love a little bad boy edge — that sexy, aloof attitude combined with his come-hither eyes—it’s like an adrenaline shot straight to the heart. Bam! All your senses are sky-rocketing off the charts. Now, as exhilarating as this high may be, there’s rarely ever a happy ending to the story. Bad boys are usually all charm and no commitment, leaving you chasing a fairy-tale dream that will never be. So, at what point between sacrificing your sanity and self-respect, do you ever take a step back and ask yourself, “What the hell am I doing?”
This bad boy drama cliché has been experienced by so many amazing women– smart, attractive, successful ones– who spend their lives chasing the wrong guy and ignoring all the warning signals. Well, it’s time to start waking up and knowing when to get off the roller coaster. Start putting yourself first by learning some simple truths to help you wean off your bad boy habit.
When he makes you feel insecure
It doesn’t take a relationship expert to tell you how lousy it feels when the guy you want treats you badly. Yet, unable to resist his mysterious charms, you chase him anyway, determined to change his careless ways. And when he doesn’t change (surprise), you simply stick around to soothe your bruised ego, trying to prove that you can still have him. Along this shallow path to nowhere, your confidence takes a huge hit because you’re putting in all the leg work and emotions. You’re left feeling insecure and unlovable, simply because you’ve chosen to cling onto an unavailable dude, expecting to turn coal to gold. So, save yourself the pain and never get hooked on a guy who doesn’t deserve your love.
You forget what’s really matters
As you persist in your bad boy addictions, you begin to lose sight of what real relationships feel like. A healthy match is incredibly positive and energizing, and you’re never left wondering why he didn’t call or why he doesn’t want to be exclusive.
The bad boys make you feel empty and unwanted. Instead, date someone who will give you trust, love and respect, while also giving you that rush of heart-pounding excitement—just minus the bad boy poison.
You question your attractiveness as a mate
When facing so many rejections and screened calls, you start to question your attractiveness as a mate. You may wonder things like, “maybe I’m not good enough” or “what if I’m just not desirable”. These negative thoughts are caused by your damaging dating choices. As you continue to pursue men who are charming yet unavailable, you’ll only fall into the same destructive pattern, leaving you feeling sad and unattractive. Bottom line, if you want to hold your head up high and keep your confidence intact, never enter this miserable dating maze in the first place.
If your current dating app is the problem, there’s tons of guys out there who aren’t all bad boys. Apps like POF and Tinder are notorious for quick bedroom shenanigans, while apps like Match or “WhoWinkedMe” are great for people hoping to find the one. Perhaps using the right dating app may set you on a healthy path, far away from your usual boy choices.
You never find the one
Are you more concerned with the thrill of having a bad boy, rather than finding the one? If you’re convinced that you can have both, it’s no wonder you’re always stuck in some endless soap opera you call a “love life”. Learn this: If he’s the right guy, you won’t spend all of your time pining for him—you’ll be too busy being with him. Perhaps it’s time to evaluate your priorities and decide if your woman enough to grow out of your bad boy phase and find long-term happiness.
Once you kick away your girlish fantasies about the perfect bad boy, you can focus on finding a real man. Let the bad boys be a long lost part of your past along with your other juvenile vices like drunk dials and bubble gum. Think about it.